one big happy mess
I'm Angela, and I'm a designer and illustrator from Manila. This is where I dump all the crazy and interesting things I find in the vastness of cyberspace.

My mess and other shenanigans can be found here and here.

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Wrote this a bajillion years ago. Now, I live in a different city, a busier city, and I find that I still value slowness more than ever.

… … …

Over coffee and numerous cigarettes, I chatted away while he listened, occasionally nodding or giving out remarks of contradiction. He wanted to go home as soon as dinner was over but I managed to drag him to a nearby coffeeplace. It was early and I didn’t want to go home yet. For him (and probably for a lot of people), sitting for a long period of time without anything real to do but sit, talk, sip coffee and inhale smoke is a waste of time—being idle like that is nonsensical, but I wanted to convince him that it’s not. Because of my new job, my schedule has now allowed me to be part of the normal work hours. It goes like this: work, dinner, a time to clear my head before heading home, then a restful slumber for more than six hours every day. I wake up without feeling groggy or tired because I lack sleep. That moment of clearing my head acts as my de-stresser, it usually involves having dinner or coffee or a quick, aimless stroll at the mall. And I don’t consider it a wasteful use of time. Perhaps doing it everyday does seem extravagant. I must admit I don’t have that luxury, but I grab the chance as much as I can. I look forward to sharing how my day went to another person and listening to what transpired on theirs. Or perhaps simply using that “idle time” to just think about anything other than “I have a deadline on ___ and have to finish it by ___”.     

Conversations like what happened this evening are important to me. I value conversations in general—over ym, coffee talks, or inuman sessions (back in college, I looked forward to having long debates with my classmates over bottles of beer or rounds of tagayan). It gives me a chance to voice out any idea or opinion I have to another human being, and in turn, also learn something from them. It helps me have a better grasp of what’s happening around me. People have always interesting things to say, no matter how seemingly trivial some stories are. Serious or comical, thought-provoking or fabrications, these stories are still theirs, and I always have something new to discover from them. It’s a symbiosis kind of thing, really.  

These stories are like documentaries happening right in your face, it just depends on how you’ll make it useful as your own. Do you simply dismiss them? Maybe, if they seem irrelevant. Or perhaps you treasure them if you find them profound or inspiring. Why do we even read books, watch movies, listen to music, or get awed by amazing artworks? These all stemmed from a story, an experience from a person who’s willing enough to share it. And I think we all have this certain need, a yearning, to be part of this loop: the sharer and the receiver.  

But more often than not, these stories are revealed during a particular “idle time”. It would be hard to imagine a great piece of literature or a phenomenal film done in haste. It takes a moment of reflection and remembering, dismissing the insignificant and dwelling on the essential. It’s filtering the story before revealing the end product. These things are rarely slaves of speed.  

Most people would shun the idea of being indolent, and would gear on having everything fast-paced. There’s nothing wrong with this. After all, we are living in a modern world where everything is immediately accessible. But there’s also something sweet about slowness, those small talks on coffee breaks, those casual, unmonumental conversations, endless debates, swapping stories, leisurely musings. You’ll never know when something extraordinary might come out of it. 

"If we long to believe that the stars rise and set for us, that we are the reason there is a universe, does science do us a disservice in deflating our conceits?"

~ Carl Sagan

"I guess when you’re young, you just believe there’ll be many people with whom you’ll connect with. Later in life, you realize it only happens a few times."

~ Before Sunset

Love this song. :)

Fresh Feeling - Eels

"That every day should be a fiesta seemed to me a marvelous discovery."

~ Ernest Hemingway

Major lss. I like this better than Birdy’s version. Young Blood by The Naked and Famous :) 

"Although I cannot move and I have to speak through a computer, in my mind I am free."

~ Stephen Hawking

"We are each free to believe what we want, and it’s my view that the simplest explanation is there is no god. No one created the universe, and no one directs our fate. This leads me to a profound realization: There is probably no heaven and no afterlife either. We have this one life to appreciate the grand design of the universe, and for that, I am extremely grateful."

~ Stephen Hawking (Curiosity - Did God Create The Universe?)

Love this song! “you are my only hideaway, you make the world seem bigger…” Hideaway by The Delays :-)

My favorite Semisonic song. :)

"How like you to make your love my hideaway and
How like you to make my troubles slide away and
How like you to make me want to play forever here behind your door…”

DND - Semisonic

People moving all the time
Inside a perfectly straight line
Don’t you wanna curve away?
When it’s such
It’s such a perfect day

Now the sky could be blue
I don’t mind
Without you it’s a waste of time

Coldplay - Strawberry Swing

Wilco with Feist - You and I


15 Styles of Distorted Thinking

Suddenly remembered this song after watching an old episode of HIMYM. Love, love this song. :)


You told me you wanted to eat up my sadness

Well jump on, enjoy, you can gorge away

What are you holding out for? 

 What’s always in the way?

Why so damn absent-minded?

Why so scared of romance?

This modern love breaks me

This modern love wastes me

This Modern Love - Bloc Party

"Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun."

~ Matt Groening